New house rules

PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

• The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
• The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
• I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
• For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.
• The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
  

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"niture.
3. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Is this all there is?

It's Wednesday and cold outside again. That means probably no walk for me tonight. I lay here all day watching the soaps and I get to thinking, "Is this all there is?". Have I missed out on things here on the couch? These are questions that come to me from time to time, but then my family comes home and all is well in the world.


I try not to let it bother me that they are so busy with the girls that I come last in attention. I drag out all my cute toys and do my best cute faces, but some days that's just not enough. I know they work all day and all I do is wait for them at home, but I want to be ready just in case they need me and want to play. Because that is my job, folks, to be there for my humans.

I am falling asleep

Time again to lay in bed with my parents ... I like to sleep against by dad's leg (mom will not tolerate although later on I can roll there and she will have to settle as I am too heavy to move ... )

Maya

I figure, since all in my family have a blog, I should start one too.

Hi there, my name is Maya ... that's how they call me ...

I was born in France. I remember all of my brothers and sisters look pretty much the same as I did ... and I wonder sometimes where they are. Chances are none of them is in USA, as I am now ... but I am getting a little ahead of myself here ...

Got to change beds ... I nap upstairs till around noonish, then go downstairs and occupy the couch ... I think it feels like it is noonish, so it is time to get up and change beds ...